I’ve been listening to self-help gurus for years saying that the way to get more of what I want is to appreciate.
But there was always a little niggle, of something.
I had an insight yesterday regarding “the event”. The first thing that came into my awareness was a collection of unfamiliar voices speaking quietly, yet with excitement, saying over and over, “The Event! The Event! The Event!” And then at some point during the next hour or so, I had a split-second flash that would best be described as orgasmic. Kind of intense and pleasurable.
My head hurts, my heart hurts, my body hurts, and every inch of me wants to cry. “It hurts, it hurts, it hurts”, and I’m supposed to be able to function like this? Maybe not, but I have work to do, and I can barely bring myself far enough out of my discomfort to make any progress with it. This is crazy.
Normally I love rain. It soothes me with its gentle rhythmic sounds, and I love the feeling of the world being washed. Everything smells better after the rain, and it makes me feel good. But not yesterday. When the rain started falling yesterday it was irritating. It jangled my already frayed nerves and felt absolutely awful.