That’s what I keep hearing, from every direction.
We are moving outside of the bounds of our known experiences, and all we can do is trust that everything that is happening to us is part of the process.
The trouble is, I don’t know if I know how to do that.
It’s such an utterly foreign way of being, that we have no references, no tools, nothing to show us the way to this “trust” that we need to have.
Funnily enough (or not so much, when you realise how much everything is connected), this feeling of being completely at sea is mirrored by a very physical, 3D experience I’m having at the moment.
The creators of the theme for my blog recently decided to make a fundamental shift in the way they do things. Not just a minor tweak, but a “pull away the foundations entirely” kind of change.
I’m sure, for them with the deeper experience and broader perspective, they can see far enough ahead to know that this is the right decision for the long term.
But for those of us who are only able to deal with what is right in front of our noses, it is a completely confusing and destabilising move.
Things that we used to be able to do with a simple checkbox or a drop-down list, now require coding in PHP, and an understanding of the underlying framework that I simply don’t have.
One person described his experience as “seeing what I want to change but not knowing how to change it, is like being in a bad dream and needing to react but feeling helplessly sluggish and unable to move” and to me that describes it perfectly.
Our entire world has changed under our feet and we don’t have the tools we need to make the transition without a lot of frustration and overwhelm.
And that’s my life at the moment.
The world around me has changed at such a basic level and in such a fundamental way, that the skills that I have just don’t work any more.
I don’t know where to begin to integrate the new experiences I’m having, and even if I could see where I want to be heading, I don’t know what to do to even begin moving in that direction.
Except when I can manage to trust the process.
But I’m not sure I really know what that means. And what distinguishes it from drifting aimlessly, kind of hoping I’ll stumble onto the answers I need, or the outcomes I truly desire?
And those who keep telling us to trust, that everything is alright, have the advantage of the broader perspective. Sure we might have agreed to this, but couldn’t we at least have some clear instructions on how to ride this wave with poise and skill?
If I am to trust the process, what then do I actually do? What does my day look like?
Because as much as I’d like to pretend that everything is the same, and I’m just going about my day, doing the same old usual things, this sure as hell is not the same world it was this time last year.
I know that this is my mind, trying to figure out its role in this new and unfamiliar world, but why shouldn’t it have a role? I still have this physical body, this mind, this life to live. Surely they still have a role to play in this experience?
Do I have to just give up to trust the process, or can I be more pro-active in the unfolding? Can I do things to make the most of it, to make it easier for those who come after me, to engage in the flow with joy and confidence, instead of inactivity and disorientation?
So many unanswered questions.